Funny Food Quotes

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.

~Jim Davis

High-tech tomatoes. Mysterious milk. Super Squash. Are we supposed to eat this stuff? Or is it going to eat us?

~Anita Manning

It would be nice if the Food and Drug Administration stopped issuing warnings about toxic substances and just gave me the names of one or two things still safe to eat.

~Robert Fuoss

An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh.  

~Will Rogers

Everything I eat has been proved by some doctor or other to be a deadly poison, and everything I don't eat has been proved to be indispensable for life. But I go marching on.

~George Bernard Shaw

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

~Buddy Hackett

You can say this for ready-mixes - the next generation isn't going to have any trouble making pies exactly like mother used to make.

~Earl Wilson

A bagel is a doughnut with the sin removed.

~George Rosenbaum

A nickel will get you on the subway, but garlic will get you a seat.

~Old New York Proverb

We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.

~Alfred E. Newman

Health food makes me sick.

~Calvin Trillin

My body is a temple where junk food goes to worship.


I’m not sure what makes pepperoni so good – if it’s the pepper or the oni.

~Ulrik Stephens

Food responds to our soul's dream as to our stomach's appetite.

~Joseph Delteil

Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is.

~P. J. O’Rourke

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

~W.C. Fields

Food, like a loving touch or a glimpse of divine power, has that ability to comfort.

~Norman Kolpas

Leave your drugs in the chemist's pot if you can heal the patient with food.


Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch.

~Orson Welles

Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It's a grain. It's like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem.

~James Patterson

It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food.

~Jarod Kintz

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

~Mark Twain

I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food

~Erma Bombeck

If you're afraid of butter, use cream.

~Julia Child

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?  

~Author Unknown

Red meat is not bad for you.  Now blue-green meat, that’s bad for you!  

~Tommy Smothers

The bagel, an unsweetened doughnut with rigor mortis.  

~Beatrice & Ira Freeman

In Mexico we have a word for sushi:  bait.

~José Simons

Chili represents your three stages of matter:  solid, liquid, and eventually gas.  

~”Dan Conner” the Roseanne show

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch.  

~James Beard

If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

~Author Unknown

Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late.

~Sam Levenson

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