Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.
High-tech tomatoes. Mysterious milk. Super Squash. Are we supposed to eat this stuff? Or is it going to eat us?
It would be nice if the Food and Drug Administration stopped issuing warnings about toxic substances and just gave me the names of one or two things still safe to eat.
An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh.
Everything I eat has been proved by some doctor or other to be a deadly poison, and everything I don't eat has been proved to be indispensable for life. But I go marching on.
~George Bernard Shaw
As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
You can say this for ready-mixes - the next generation isn't going to have any trouble making pies exactly like mother used to make.
A bagel is a doughnut with the sin removed.
A nickel will get you on the subway, but garlic will get you a seat.
~Old New York Proverb
We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.
~Alfred E. Newman
Health food makes me sick.
My body is a temple where junk food goes to worship.
I’m not sure what makes pepperoni so good – if it’s the pepper or the oni.
Food responds to our soul's dream as to our stomach's appetite.
Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is.
~P. J. O’Rourke
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
Food, like a loving touch or a glimpse of divine power, has that ability to comfort.
Leave your drugs in the chemist's pot if you can heal the patient with food.
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch.
Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It's a grain. It's like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem.
It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food.
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food
If you're afraid of butter, use cream.
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that’s bad for you!
The bagel, an unsweetened doughnut with rigor mortis.
~Beatrice & Ira Freeman
In Mexico we have a word for sushi: bait.
Chili represents your three stages of matter: solid, liquid, and eventually gas.
~”Dan Conner” the Roseanne show
A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch.
If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late.