Funny Food Quotes

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.

~Jim Davis


High-tech tomatoes. Mysterious milk. Super Squash. Are we supposed to eat this stuff? Or is it going to eat us?

~Anita Manning


It would be nice if the Food and Drug Administration stopped issuing warnings about toxic substances and just gave me the names of one or two things still safe to eat.

~Robert Fuoss


An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh.  

~Will Rogers


Everything I eat has been proved by some doctor or other to be a deadly poison, and everything I don't eat has been proved to be indispensable for life. But I go marching on.

~George Bernard Shaw


As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

~Buddy Hackett


You can say this for ready-mixes - the next generation isn't going to have any trouble making pies exactly like mother used to make.

~Earl Wilson


A bagel is a doughnut with the sin removed.

~George Rosenbaum


A nickel will get you on the subway, but garlic will get you a seat.

~Old New York Proverb


We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.

~Alfred E. Newman


Health food makes me sick.

~Calvin Trillin


My body is a temple where junk food goes to worship.

~Maxine


I’m not sure what makes pepperoni so good – if it’s the pepper or the oni.

~Ulrik Stephens


Food responds to our soul's dream as to our stomach's appetite.

~Joseph Delteil


Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is.

~P. J. O’Rourke


Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

~W.C. Fields


Food, like a loving touch or a glimpse of divine power, has that ability to comfort.

~Norman Kolpas


Leave your drugs in the chemist's pot if you can heal the patient with food.

~Hippocrates


Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch.

~Orson Welles


Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It's a grain. It's like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem.

~James Patterson


It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food.

~Jarod Kintz


Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

~Mark Twain


I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food

~Erma Bombeck


If you're afraid of butter, use cream.

~Julia Child


Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?  

~Author Unknown


Red meat is not bad for you.  Now blue-green meat, that’s bad for you!  

~Tommy Smothers


The bagel, an unsweetened doughnut with rigor mortis.  

~Beatrice & Ira Freeman


In Mexico we have a word for sushi:  bait.

~José Simons


Chili represents your three stages of matter:  solid, liquid, and eventually gas.  

~”Dan Conner” the Roseanne show

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch.  

~James Beard


If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

~Author Unknown

Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late.

~Sam Levenson

If you enjoyed these funny food quotes you might also like...

chocolate quotes

coffee quotes

popular food idioms


New! Comments

Have your say about what you just read! Leave me a comment in the box below.

Return to: Sayings home>  Food Sayings>  Top of: funny food quotes