Funny Love Quotes and Sayings

36 funny love quotes:

Love is the only disease that makes you feel better.
~Sam Shepard

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
~Lily Tomlin

Love is a disease, but curable.
~Dame Rose Macaulay

Love is an agreement on the part of two people to overestimate each other.
~E.M. Cioran

A strong pair of glasses is sometimes enough to cure a person in love.
~Friedrich Nietzsche

Love, like restaurant hash, must be taken with a blind faith or it loses its flavor.
~Helen Rowland

No matter how love sick a woman is, she shouldn’t take the first pill who comes along.
~Dr.Joyce Brothers

Before I met my husband, I’d never fallen in love, though I’d stepped in it a few times.
~Rita Rudner

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
~Unknown Author

Only time can heal a broken heart, just as only time can heal his broken arms and legs.
~Miss Piggy

You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
~ Henny Youngman

Love will find a lay.

How do I love thee? sometimes I wonder.
~Unknown Author

Men look at love the same way they look at smoke from their car engine: “Damn, how much is this going to cost me.
~Tim Conlon

Religion has done love a service by making it a sin.
~Antole France

Love your enemy – it will drive him nuts.
~Eleanore Doan

Everything was going great until I said, “I love you,” then he got this look on his face like he’d taken a wrong turn in a really bad neighbourhood.
~Roz Doyle

The last time I saw him he was walking down Lover’s Lane holding his own hand.
~Fred Allen

If I’m lucky, I’ll fall in love. If I’m unlucky, I’ll fall and hit my head.
~Emmy Gay

It is better to have loved and lost than to have never lost at all.
~Samuel Butler

I’ve learned that you can’t make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they’ll panic and give in.
~Emo Philips

I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it.
~Woody Allen

A man in love mistakes a pimple for a dimple.
~Japanese proverb

You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover’s arms can only come later when you’re sure they won’t laugh if you trip.
~Jonathan Carroll

Love is like those second-rate hotels where all the luxury is in the lobby.
~Paul-Jean Toulet

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.
~Cathy Carlyle

What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork.
~Pearl Bailey

Stop waiting for Prince Charming. Get up and find him. The poor idiot might be stuck in a tree or something.
~Unknown Author

The best thing about you and me, is me.
~Unknown Author

You can’t put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.
~Melanie Clark

Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.
~ Christopher Marlowe

If couples who are in love are called “love birds”, then couples who always argue should be called “Angry Birds”.
~Unknown Author

I love you with all my butt, I would say heart, but my butt is bigger.
~Unknown Author

Love is what you make it. Unfortunately, I can’t make it today, as I have a doctors appointment.
~Hussein Nishah

Have you ever loved someone so much, you wanted to keep them hidden from the world & all to yourself? Well, apparently its called kidnapping…
~Unknown Author

When I eventually met Mr Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
~ Rita Rudner

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