Halloween Sayings, Quotes and Jokes

100+ Halloween Sayings, quotes and Jokes for trick or treaters:

I’ll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.
~ Unknown

A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
~Erma Bombeck

Witch and ghost make merry on this last of dear October’s days.
~ Unknown

Halloween wraps fear in innocence,
As though it were a slightly sour sweet.
Let terror, then, be turned into a treat…
~Nicholas Gordon

Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night.
~Steve Almond

Those seemingly interminable dark walks between houses, long before street-lit safety became an issue, were more adrenalizing than the mountains of candy filling the sack. Sadly Halloween, with our good-natured attempts to protect the little ones, from the increasingly dangerous traffic and increasingly sick adults, has become an utter bore.

~Lauren Springer

Where there is no imagination there is no horror.
~Arthur Conan Doyle, Sr.

Just like a ghost, you’ve been a-hauntin’ my dreams,
So I’ll propose on Halloween.
Love is kinda crazy with a spooky little girl like you.
~Classics IV

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
~George Carlin

Shadows of a thousand years rise again unseen,
Voices whisper in the trees, “Tonight is Halloween!”
~Dexter Kozen

Men say that in this midnight hour,
The disembodièd have power
To wander as it liketh them,
By wizard oak and fairy stream.
~William Motherwell

Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn’t even the star of his own Halloween special.
~Chris Rock

gypsy fire is on the hearth,
Sign of the carnival of mirth;
Through the dun fields and from the glade
Flash merry folk in masquerade,
For this is Hallowe’en!
~ Unknown

Once in a young lifetime one should be allowed to have as much sweetness as one can possibly want and hold.
~Judith Olney

As spirits roam the neighborhoods at night,
Let loose upon the Earth till it be light…
~Nicholas Gordon

Eat, drink and be scary.
~ Unknown

Pixie, kobold, elf, and sprite,
All are on their rounds tonight;
In the wan moon’s silver ray,
Thrives their helter-skelter play.
~Joel Benton

There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.
~ Jean Baudrillard

I see my face in the mirror and go, ‘I’m a Halloween costume? That’s what they think of me?
~ Drew Carey

It’s Halloween! It’s Halloween! The moon is full and bright/ And we shall see what can’t be seen On any other night. Skeletons and ghosts and ghouls, Grinning goblins fighting duels/ Werewolves rising from their tombs, Witches on their magic brooms/ In masks and gown we haunt the street /And knock on doors for trick or treat/ Tonight we are the king and queen, For oh tonight it’s Halloween!
~Jack Prelutsky

Stir the fire till it lowe
How like a queen comes forth the lonely Moon
From the slow opening curtains of the clouds
Walking in beauty to her midnight throne!
~George Croly

Backward, turn backward,
O Time, in your flight
make me a child again
just for to-night!
~Elizabeth Akers Allen

They that are born on Halloween shall see more than other folk.
~ Unknown

You wouldn’t believe
On All Hallow Eve
What lots of fun we can make,
With apples to bob,
And nuts on the hob,
And a ring-and-thimble cake.
~Carolyn Wells

On Halloween, witches come true;
Wild ghosts escape from dreams.
Each monster dances in the park….
~Nicholas Gordon

Clothes make a statement. Costumes tell a story.
~Mason Cooley

Proof of our society’s decline is that Halloween has become a broad daylight event for many.
~Robert Kirby

Hark! Hark to the wind! ‘Tis the night, they say,
When all souls come back from the far away-
The dead, forgotten this many a day!
~Virna Sheard

I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself than be crowded on a velvet cushion.
~Henry David Thoreau

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween.
~Unknown

There is nothing that gives more assurance than a mask.
~Colette

Hobgoblins know the proper way to dance:
Arms akimbo, loopy legs askew,
Leaping into darkness with delight,
Lusting for the ecstasy of fright,
Open to the charm of horrors new….
~Nicholas Gordon

Nothing beats a haunted moonlit night on All Hallows Eve…. And on this fatal night, at this witching time, the starless sky laments black and unmoving. The somber hues of an ominous, dark forest are suddenly illuminated under the emerging face of the full moon.
~Kim Elizabeth

‘Tis the night – the night
Of the grave’s delight,
And the warlocks are at their play;
Ye think that without
The wild winds shout,
But no, it is they – it is they.
~Arthur Cleveland Coxe

Shadows of a thousand years rise again unseen,
Voices whisper in the trees, “Tonight is Halloween!”
~ Dexter Kozen

Double, double toil and trouble; fire burn and cauldron bubble.
~Shakespeare

At first cock-crow the ghosts must go
Back to their quiet graves below.
~Theodosia Garrison

Eye of newt, and toe of frog, Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,
Adder’s fork, and blind-worm’s
sting, Lizard’s leg, and owlet’s wing, For a charm of powerful
trouble, Like a hell-broth
boil and bubble.
~William Shakespeare

Bring forth the raisins and the nuts- Tonight All-Hallows’ Specter struts Along the moonlit way.
~John Kendrick Bangs

Ask not what your Pumpkin can do for you, ask what you can do for your pumpkin.
~ Author Unknown

Hold on, man. We don’t go anywhere with ‘scary’, ‘spooky’, ‘haunted’, or ‘forbidden’ in the title.
~ Matthew Lillard as Shaggy in Scooby-Doo

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
~ Rodney Dangerfield

ON HALLOWEEN
The witches fly
Across the sky,
The owls go, “Who? Who? Who?”
The black cats yowl
And green ghosts howl,
“Scary Halloween to you!”
~ Nina Willis Walter

There are three things I have learned never to discuss with people: religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin.
~Linus Van Pelt in It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown

Pumpkins on a fence post
With their eyes alight,
Bats and cats and hooty owls,
Witches all in flight,
Ghosts and goblins galloping
What a scary night!
~Unknown

Hugs & Kisses 5 cents
Bugs & Hisses 10 cents
~Unknown

Little ghosts are all about Bats and witches flying out
Don’t be scared, theres no doubt
Tonight is Halloween.
~Unknown

Everyone is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
~Mark Twain

Things that go BUMP in the night!!!
~Unknown

From ghoulies and ghosties
And long-leggedy beasties
And things that go bump in the night,
Good Lord, deliver us!
~Scottish Saying

‘Tis the night – the night
Of the grave’s delight,
And the warlocks are at their play;
Ye think that without
The wild winds shout,
But no, it is they – it is they.
~Arthur Cleveland Coxe

You wouldn’t believe
On All Hallow Eve
What lots of fun we can make,
With apples to bob,
And nuts on the hob,
And a ring-and-thimble cake.
~Carolyn Wells

As I was going up the stair, I met a man who wasn’t there / He wasn’t there again today…Oh, how I wish he’d go away.
~ Unknown

May Jack-o-lanterns burning bright
Of soft and golden hue
Pierce through the future’s veil and show
What fate now holds for you.
~ Unknown

On Hallowe’en the thing you must do
Is pretend that nothing can frighten you
And if somethin’ scares you and you want to run
Just let on like it’s Hallowe’en fun.
~ Unknown

Carve out some good times.
~Unknown

Trick or Treat. Be so sweet. Give me something good to eat.
~Unknown

Nothing beats a haunted moonlit night on All Hallows Eve…. And on this fatal night, at this witching time, the starless sky laments black and unmoving. The somber hues of an ominous, dark forest are suddenly illuminated under the emerging face of the full moon.
~Kim Elizabeth

Halloween Jokes and Sayings for Trick or Treaters

The following Halloween Sayings and Jokes are perfect for trick or treaters. These Halloween Sayings can also be used for creating your own halloween greeting cards or spicing up your scrap book.

What did the two vampires order at the bar?
Two bloods and a blood light.

What do you give a vampire with a bad cold?
‘Coffin-drops’

What did the skeleton say to the bartender?
I’ll have two beers and a mop.

What is a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving.

What is a baby ghost’s favorite game?
Peek-a-Boo.

What is a monster psychiatrist called?
Shrinkenstein.

What did the mummy say to the detective?
Let’s wrap this up!

Where does a witch park after flying?
In the broom closet.

Why can’t skeletons play music in church?
Because they have no organs.

Why isn’t Dracula invited to parties?
Because he’s a ‘pain in the neck’.

Why did the vampires cancel their baseball game?
They couldn’t find their ‘bats’.

Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road?
It had no guts…

How do witches keep their hair in place when flying?
They use ‘scare-spray’.

How do monsters tell their fortune?
They read the ‘horrorscopes’.

What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that ‘fangs’ around your neck.

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No. They eat the fingers separately.

How do you tell twin witches apart?
You can’t tell which witch is which…

Why is a haunted handkerchief so scary?
Because it has ‘boo-gers’…

What is a skeleton stone age family?
Flint-bones…

What is a vampire’s favorite ice cream flavor?
Vein-illa.

What did the mother ghost say to her son?
Don’t spook unless you are spook-en to…

What do ghosts use to shampoo their hair?
Sham-boo.

What kind of pants do ghosts wear?
Boo-jeans.

Why wasn’t the vampire working?
He was on a coffin break.

What do skeletons say before eating?
Bone-Appetit’.

What does a child monster call his parents?
Mummy and Deady.

Where do ghosts shop for clothes?
At the Boo-tique.

What rides do ghosts like best at the amusement park?
The roller ghoster.

What fairy tale do ghosts like best?
Sleeping Boo-ty.

Why do vampires need mouthwash?
They have bat breath.

What’s a vampire’s favorite fast food?
Someone with very high blood pressure.

What ghost say to his family in the car?Fasten your sheet belts.

What do ghosts eat for breakfast?
Ghost Toasties and evaporated milk.

What doesn’t a vampire order at a restaurant?
A stake sandwich.kind of car does a ghost drive?
A Boo-ick.

What kind of streets to zombies like best?
Dead Ends.

What does daddy ghost say to his family in the car?Fasten your sheet belts.

What do ghosts eat for breakfast?
Ghost Toasties and evaporated milk.

What doesn’t a vampire order at a restaurant?
A stake sandwich.

Short Halloween Sayings

These cute short Haloween Sayings are perfect for creating your own halloween sayings greeting cards, t-shirts, gifts and more. These short Halloween Sayings can also be used for decorating and adding a little fun and spice to your scrap book. The possibilities are endless when you mix a little imagination with these halloween sayings.

• Tomb It May Concern . . .
• Broom Parking – 5 Cents
• Creepy Characters
• Ghosts Have Real Spirit
• Chills and Thrills
• Me and My Ghoul Friends
• Which Witch is Which?!??
• Witch ParkingAll others will be toad!
• If you want a tasty sweet. . .Be sure to holler trick or treat!
• Good Friends are like witches, wickedly fun & highly spririted.
• Too Cute to Spook!
• Ghouls just want to have fun!
• Witchful Thinking!
• Time for a coffin break.
• Have a frightfully spooky Halloween
• You are bootiful.
• I witch you a Happy Halloween.
• A Howlin’ Good Time
• Bone Voyage
• Carving Memories
• Fangs For The Memories