Quotes from the TV show “House”

by Jacob

All the quotes are from a TV Show character, Gregory House. The Series name is House M.D. He is the Chief of Diagnostic Medicine at the fictional Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, where he leads a team of diagnosticians. He has been described as egomaniacal, condescending, narcissistic and very sarcastic.

1. “Do I have to spell it out for you? Pheochromocytoma. Actually, I’m not sure how you spell it.”

2. “You know how they say, “you can’t live without love”? Well, oxygen is even more important.”

3. “Hey, I can be a jerk to people I haven’t slept with. I am that good.”

4. “I’m happy to report that we are now so in sync, we’re actually wearing each other’s underwear.”

5. “So I have to wonder what could be more humiliating then someone calling your girlfriend a cow and not being metaphorical?”

6. “Glad you’re back. Cameron makes lousy coffee. I like mine black, just like my brain damaged neurologists.”

7. “Rational arguments don’t usually work on religious people. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be religious people.”

8. “You get married at twenty, you’re going to be shocked who you’re living with at thirty.”

9. “I thought I’d get your theories, mock them, then embrace my own. The usual.”

10.”You handed over her panties; don’t think gallantry’s an option at this point.”

11. “Way to multi-task, impress the boss and humiliate the ex.”

12. “I think my penis stopped breathing; Do you know CPR?”

13. “What I put in my body is my business; I don’t give you grief over your vegetables.”

14. “Good news is, he’s running out of organs to fail. ”

15. “I remembered I’m not a Satanist. I’m a druid.”