Don’t think of yourself as getting older.
You are, of course, but it’s best not to think about it! Happy Birthday!
You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.
~ Daniel Francois Esprit Auber
Why is a birthday cake the only food you can blow on and spit on and everybody rushes to get a piece?
~ Bobby Kelton
Looking fifty is great - if you’re sixty.
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m five I’ll be 64.
There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents ... and only one for birthday presents, you know.
~ Lewis Carroll
Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
~ Tom Stoppard
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you was?
~ Satchel Paige funny birthday saying
Middle age is when your age starts to show around the middle.
~ Bob Hope
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that’ll get you home earlier.
Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, 'Happy Birthday'.
The old believe everything; the middle-aged suspect everything; the young know everything.
~ Oscar Wilde
If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
~ Mark Twain
Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life.
The Best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
~ H. V. Prochnow
Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
~ Jack Benny funny birthday saying
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.
~Sir Norman Wisdom
A well-adjusted woman is one who not only knows what she wants for her birthday, but even knows what she's going to exchange it for.
I never forget my wife's birthday. It's usually the day after she reminds me about it.
Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you have not committed.
Men grow old, pearls grow yellow, there is no cure for it
You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.
~ John P. Grier
Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.
Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.
To me, old age is always 20 years older than I am.
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
~ Robert Frost
It is better to wear out than to rust out.
~ Bishop Richard Cumberland
The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.
~ Robert Orben
For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.
~ John Glenn
When I have a birthday I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.
If you live to the age of a hundred, you have it made because very few people die past the age of a hundred.
~George Burns funny birthday saying
A diplomatic husband said to his wife: How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?
Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese.
Birthdays are like busses, never the number you want.
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
Age is a number and mine is unlisted.
Getting old ain't for sissies.
~ Bette Davis
Of late I appear
To have reached that stage
When people who look old
Who are only my age.
~ Richard Armour
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.
~Father Larry Lorenzoni
I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
~ Phyllis Diller
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.
Men are like wine: some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
If I'd known I was going to live this long (100 years), I'd have taken better care of myself.
~ Ubie Blake
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
There is still no cure for the common birthday
Let us respect gray hairs, especially our own.
~ J. P. Sears
We turn not older with years, but newer every day.
~ Emily Dickinson
We are always the same age inside.
~ Gertrude Stein
Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
It takes a long time to become young.
~ Pablo Picasso
May you live all the days of your life.
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.
~ Cora Harvey Armstrong
Oh to be seventy again.
~ Georges Clemenceau
Birthdays! The one with the most wins!
~ Dane Peddigrew
Remember being twelve, hope to be ninety and live happily somewhere in between.
~Curtis D. Tucker
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
You know you're getting older when you start looking forward to new episodes of the Weather Channel.
~ Curtis D. Tucker